Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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