Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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