Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
