I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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