That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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