Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
