Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
