Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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