i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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