I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You need Xanax blowdarts
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
