can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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