from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
