Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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