he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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