Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
