Pappa wants mamma naked
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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