It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
