he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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