she looked like the before picture.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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