There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
