onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.