ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
