I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
