and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
so much tequila, so little girl.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
