I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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