I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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