It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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