i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
