so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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