Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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