I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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