and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
