so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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