your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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