I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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