Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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