Your dad touched me again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
