Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
