the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
