No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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