Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
