Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
