dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
