just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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