there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
