He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
