I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
