all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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