hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
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She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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