I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
