New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
