i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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