My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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