i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The power of my boobs compel you
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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