Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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