I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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