Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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