I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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