You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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