I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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