She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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